I have begun to realise that responsibility is tough.
There's a new girl in town. She works near me and we chat. She tells me how she has just moved to town and knows no one. I nod and sympathise and say how tough that must be. All the while I know I could definitely help out with that issue. But that would be tough. That would be putting myself out there, opening my life outside of work to her. It would be new. I find myself avoiding asking questions about how her days off were, because I know the answer will make me think of all the things I could have invited her to and how it could have been different. But that would be a little bit tough wouldn't it?
But I know, within me there is a little voice telling me that this is what I am meant to do. That if I truly want to live a life following Jesus, I need to be looking out for the lonely and opening up my life to people who need company. If I have the means to fix it, then why wont I?
By telling Jesus I want to be more like him, I take upon the responsibility to live to that.
There's this boy. He tells me how he has no parents, food, money or home. How he is addicted to drugs and how he prays to come off them. He says he has been in prison and no one will employ him because of his convictions. He can't afford glasses so he can't see properly.
I listen to his stories, helpless as to what to do and where God is in all this.
By praying for my eyes to be opened to opportunities and things Jesus wants me to see, I open myself up to see people like thes and the responsibility to act on that. And it's tough. To be honest, I would rather not. I can't do anything for this boy, apart from be there, listen and buy him the occasional Mcdonalds meal. It would be easier to shrug it off, recede back into myself and carry on my life.
And often, I find myself thinking that I shouldn't always be doing things I don't want to do, Jesus wouldn't want that. But if I am meant to be a light where I am, then I need to take this on. And I am all for growing, changing and being that person that lives a life different from the normal.
I want that compassion that directs people to Jesus. That pbvious point of difference.
Responsibility is tough. But I know it is worth it.