Saturday, July 9, 2011


It's on days like these. Overcast days with not alot on the schedule, that my mind wanders back to England. As much as I try to push it to the back of my mind and be fully satisfied with where I am now, it's hard when your heart is somewhere else. It's a slight predicament. It's as if I'm playing the waiting game, or pretending that I can just move on without acknowledging or even figuring out where it fits in my past. Is it just the past? Or is it a precursor to what my future holds? Do I wait it out and see what opportunity arises? Or do I sieze the day and take the steps to get back there.
The thing is, no matter how much I try to push it to the back of my mind and just remember it as times gone by, the truth is, it is home for me. Like a heart home. And this makes it hard to know what to do.
Someone once said to me, if it's where your heart is, do it. And maybe it is that simple.
It was, and is, such a huge part of my life, my journey, my growth in who I am as a person and who Jesus is to me. And if I'm honest, I really haven't felt truly satisfied since I have been back.
There is a part of it that scares me. And I think that is stopping me from truly going with the wind and heading back.
What to do.
I don't know.
Let's just wait it out.

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