Gillingham.

This tiny town is constantly in my thoughts. It doesn't even need an invitation. No matter where I am or what I am doing it creeps in. And with it comes a yearning, a deep fondness that resonates right to my core, a feeling of attachment far greater than with anything else. The high street that has a certain air of desolate beauty about it, the people...oh the people. The youth.
So much broken-ness yet so much possibility. I have never felt more at home anywhere in my life. And for this reason my heart yearns to go back.

I almost feel a certain sense of loss...maybe a loss of who I was when I was there...so much less pre-occupied with others thoughts, my appearance, the everyday bothers..but was so keen for God to use me, challenge me and just KNEW that whatever small thing I prayed, that God would work through me. Numerous times certain kids were put on my heart and we would pray that we would bump into them that day..and we did....and God just came through...The extra money in my purse which defnitely hadn't been there before, the constant provision, the challenges within me to re-think everything I believed, the eye-opening youth, the amazing people I was able to meet, the places I was able to go, the beginning of a very different journey with Jesus that I had never thought I would be on. mind-blowing.

I guess I miss the simpleness of life there.
Simply trusting.
Simply being myself.
Simply feeling so free.
Simply knowing.
And then just in the mix of things my heart wonders what it will be like when I do go back.
The same? Different? And will I have changed?
I'm very glad the timing isn't in my hands because I would most definitely stuff it up.
Thanks Jesus.